Wednesday, December 12, 2007'
Today after my blaw test,
feeling quite delighted as the paper was rather easy to a certain extain.
Intended to rush home and sleep.
Have been study the whole night,so sleepy.
When i took my phone handphone out form my bag.
There was a sms.
The sms is from her.
hmm,intially quite excited to see what she said.
the sms went like this,
"i woke up le.Today is book out day le.haha...When woke up msg me k? Muack.:)"
When i looked at it,i knew it was not for me.
Maybe she deliberately send it to me,to let me forget about her.
Or maybe is to Max or someone else.
i sms back"huh?"
she reply "?"
i sms back"i think you send to wrong person back =.="
And she never reply.
Marcus, since you are the only one who knows my blog.
i would like to tell you sorry for letting you worry.
You are my only best friend who i can trust.
i know i have been cheating myself.
i know i can no longer get her back.
Yet,i keep telling myself i will wait.
Sometime when i alone, is really heartbroken when think of the past.
I just watch this show.
This guy divorced with his wife purposely in order prevent his wife from ending up in jail.
I have lost....i really have lost her..
Tonight, i keep thinking in my mind.
What is exactly going on?
I decided to look for Max's blog...preparing for the worst.
I asked Marcus to help me find too.
Finally, we manage to find it from his friendster.
When Marcus gave me the blog..
I was afraid to open it...i pointed the mouse at it...feeling very scare...
Finally i clicked...
First time i saw...was that photo..max and she..
i scrolled down..and i saw more...
Hui xian...my heart...at that time...i really really cannot control myself..
I cried...It has been many year that i have not cried...
I just cant control my tear...
Quickly i closed the doors...dun want to let my mum know...
it was too sudden for me..
Yet i look at her smile...can really see she is happy..
Yet...i was confused, sad, cannot control..very lost...
i was thinking...since the day she broke with me...
She has set up her mind not to go into relationship.
I respect her descision...i respect her everything..
Yet i told myself..i will wait...i will wait till the day both of us really..
cos she said she had too many things to do..
And so i gave her freedom..
But why..
so sudden...
She patch back with Max...
Last time, i suspect that max still like her..
But finally,i choose to believe what she said to me.."no matter what,max is just a brother to me,he like to act cute, short, ugly and also dunnno how to take care of girl..i got no feeling on him"..
i am really confused...
Why she cant give me a chance...and patch with max again..
Why...
I cannot accept it ...really..i cant..
